Here's the post you've all been waiting for (not really). To celebrate 50 reviews on the blog, I'll be counting down my top 10 WORST movies I've reviewed so far.
Just like in my last list, I'll be including some (dis)honorable mentions, movies that just barely missed the list:
Wits of the Brats
Mismatched Couples
A Tale From the East (I'm especially happy that those last two didn't make it. Despite them not being very good, they're still fun as hell.)
10. Angel (1987)
This classic girls-with-guns movie is harmless/mindless entertainment. It has its moments to shine, but it has nothing to note besides the action.
9. Nightlife Hero (1992)
I kinda feel bad for putting this one on the list because it is quite entertaining. The fights, the stars, and the unintentional comedy make this one worth a watch. But it’s still not a good movie. It’s cringe worthy, cheesy, lazy, and sometimes nonsensical. And that’s kinda part of the fun.
8. My Heart is That Eternal Rose (1989)
I’m certainly not the biggest fan of this movie. Though the visuals are admittedly nice to look at, I just found the story and the characters extremely dull. Tony Leung, Michael Chan, and the theme song are the best things about the movie. Others consider this a classic so maybe you'll like it too.
7. Fantasy Mission Force (1983)
Here's another movie that I feel bad for putting on the list. This is definitely a really stupid movie, but it almost seems intentional. Nothing makes sense in this movie, but almost in a good way. It’s entertaining and unpredictable, but it’s still crap.
6. Funny Family (1986)
Chu Yen Ping strikes again. I like this movie for the same reasons why I like Fantasy Mission Force, but at least Fantasy Mission Force actually had a story. The action is very good though and I really like the pairing of Lan Hsin-Mei and Woo Gwa.
Just like in my last list, I'll be including some (dis)honorable mentions, movies that just barely missed the list:
Wits of the Brats
Mismatched Couples
A Tale From the East (I'm especially happy that those last two didn't make it. Despite them not being very good, they're still fun as hell.)
10. Angel (1987)
This classic girls-with-guns movie is harmless/mindless entertainment. It has its moments to shine, but it has nothing to note besides the action.
9. Nightlife Hero (1992)
I kinda feel bad for putting this one on the list because it is quite entertaining. The fights, the stars, and the unintentional comedy make this one worth a watch. But it’s still not a good movie. It’s cringe worthy, cheesy, lazy, and sometimes nonsensical. And that’s kinda part of the fun.
8. My Heart is That Eternal Rose (1989)
I’m certainly not the biggest fan of this movie. Though the visuals are admittedly nice to look at, I just found the story and the characters extremely dull. Tony Leung, Michael Chan, and the theme song are the best things about the movie. Others consider this a classic so maybe you'll like it too.
7. Fantasy Mission Force (1983)
Here's another movie that I feel bad for putting on the list. This is definitely a really stupid movie, but it almost seems intentional. Nothing makes sense in this movie, but almost in a good way. It’s entertaining and unpredictable, but it’s still crap.
6. Funny Family (1986)
Chu Yen Ping strikes again. I like this movie for the same reasons why I like Fantasy Mission Force, but at least Fantasy Mission Force actually had a story. The action is very good though and I really like the pairing of Lan Hsin-Mei and Woo Gwa.
5. Crazy Shaolin Disciples (1985)
This movie should’ve been a lot of fun, but the sparse fight scenes and unfunny comic relief hold this movie back. Far from as entertaining as it could’ve/should’ve been with such a great cast. The fights don’t really make this one worthwhile.
4. Long Road to Gallantry (1984)
This is probably my least favorite Shaw Brothers movie that I’ve seen so far and when you think about it, that’s kinda saying a lot. The totally nonsensical characterization and slow pacing are some of the most notable flaws. There was a good story in the making, but nothing very interesting was done with it.
3. Mantis Fists and Tiger Claws of Shaolin (1977)
Though not terrible, this movie is just disturbing and uncomfortable to even think about. The movie starts out strong (even Dean Shek is good in this movie), but there are many creative decisions that didn’t gel well at all. And if you've seen this movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It’s dark and stupid which I’m sure some may find entertaining.
2. The Master (1992)
Probably Tsui Hark’s worst movie. This movie is littered with awful acting and a poorly written story. Jet Li is still very charismatic though and the fights aren’t terrible. But still, those two things are probably the only good things about it. Some ironic entertainment can be had watching this movie, but it’s still a pretty bad.
1. Guns of Dragon (1993)
I dislike this movie for many of the same reasons why I didn’t like The Master, but this movie doesn’t have a charismatic lead or good action. This is just a really stupid movie. Some might view this movie as a “so bad it’s good” movie, but I kinda doubt it. In short, I didn’t like it.
This movie should’ve been a lot of fun, but the sparse fight scenes and unfunny comic relief hold this movie back. Far from as entertaining as it could’ve/should’ve been with such a great cast. The fights don’t really make this one worthwhile.
4. Long Road to Gallantry (1984)
This is probably my least favorite Shaw Brothers movie that I’ve seen so far and when you think about it, that’s kinda saying a lot. The totally nonsensical characterization and slow pacing are some of the most notable flaws. There was a good story in the making, but nothing very interesting was done with it.
3. Mantis Fists and Tiger Claws of Shaolin (1977)
Though not terrible, this movie is just disturbing and uncomfortable to even think about. The movie starts out strong (even Dean Shek is good in this movie), but there are many creative decisions that didn’t gel well at all. And if you've seen this movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It’s dark and stupid which I’m sure some may find entertaining.
2. The Master (1992)
Probably Tsui Hark’s worst movie. This movie is littered with awful acting and a poorly written story. Jet Li is still very charismatic though and the fights aren’t terrible. But still, those two things are probably the only good things about it. Some ironic entertainment can be had watching this movie, but it’s still a pretty bad.
1. Guns of Dragon (1993)
I dislike this movie for many of the same reasons why I didn’t like The Master, but this movie doesn’t have a charismatic lead or good action. This is just a really stupid movie. Some might view this movie as a “so bad it’s good” movie, but I kinda doubt it. In short, I didn’t like it.
I hope you enjoyed that list (I know I sure did). I'd say that most of the movies on the list are actually still quite entertaining, but still kinda crap. Proceed with caution. I'll probably be doing something like this when/if I get to 100 reviews. Take care.
Images from Chopsticks on Fire, HKMDb, and Far East Films
Images from Chopsticks on Fire, HKMDb, and Far East Films